The 4 Most Important Lessons That I Learned From Losing The Most Valuable Thing In My Life.
Yes, I will teach you these 4 Lessons on this page already, so keep reading. And up front, what I lost, I do not wish anyone to experience
 
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Shortly after my third child was born, my wife got sick.
The doctors said it was a severe lung infection. You know, one of those you hear in the media about, and think, that's not real.
It was antibacterial resistant, and nothing they did, helped her.
It just got worse and worse, spread from the lungs to her heart and kidney. After 1 Month and two weeks of suffering, she passed away.
Here I was. Three children, and just arriving really in the Philippines, the country I chose to be my home for my family and me.
I knew, for the sake of my kids, and me that I needed to deal with this situation as positively, and healthy and fast as humanly possible.
I know how that sounds.
IMPOSSIBLE.
And yet, I managed it. In only eight weeks, I was back and had retaken full responsibility for my situation.
(I even doubled my business income in that time)
As you probably know, I bring a vast base of knowledge to the table, over 67'431 hours of personal development. And that is where I turned to, to find the answer.
And I did find the most potent four things you can imagine.
Here is what helped me to turn the experience into a powerful driver to create and regain happiness, love, and fulfillment in my everyday life. (And in the lives of countless others world-wide)
Step 1: Acceptance
Wow, this was hard. I mean acknowledging what happened, and then fully embrace it. There were days where I thought; I couldn't do this. I wanted to quit life and just let it all go to waste. That level of hard, things got, within this step.
You probably think now "that's not for me… such a big thing, I can't possibly pull that off" You gotta know this…
When we practice this step, we learn to accept everything in our life. Even the good stuff. The amount of money you want to earn or the extra vacation this year. The love you get from others around you etc.
It works on all levels of life, and exceptionally well on the smaller things.
And yet it is so powerful, that when you practice it on the more minor things the real big situations, like losing a loved one, will be easier to handle.
(It's not a magic pill to never feel grieve, sorrow, guilt, etc. again get me right here. It is Work! Hard, Deep, Personal Work involved, because – this is real! And it will make your life so much easier.)
Writing this to you, I remember how everything in my life got more comfortable.
Everything! Thanks to this newfound ability of acceptance.
Even earning a higher income became a breeze. That's why I doubled my business income within eight weeks after my wife passed away.
And no, I didn't jump heads on into more work. I did nothing at all in that time. Still, clients started to line up!
They even paid a retainer upfront.
Today I know that it was thanks to the first step: "Acceptance."
Thanks to me, embracing my life and all its sides: up, down, good, bad, etc.
As I said, I learned four of the hardest lessons ever during that time.
And step one took already a lot out of me. For the day to day things, it’s easy to do, for the "life kicks you in the face" moments… it takes more effort and time but works just as well.
And then I found the second Step: Feeling and Allowing it.
(yes, I mean found, in thousands of pages from mentorship programs that I’ve been a part of)
When I finally made my peace with this new reality, the new life of my children and me. I knew I had to listen back in.
You might know how even small things, like a missed opportunity, can drive us crazy. We feel guilty that we didn't take action. We wonder what would have been if, and we might even get angry at ourselves.
That all will stop with this significant second step.
And even better, when something is coming up again emotionally, we know now how to deal with it healthily and fast. It helped me so much to work through all those different emotions that came up.
All the Grief, Hurt, Anger, the What If's, and Why didn't we, or why did we… those and other thoughts pushed their way into my mind. I am sure you can relate.
This step will give you the power back over your emotions and therefore, over your reactions to your life.
Even if things start to trigger you, or a discussion got heated, with practice you will automatically do this step and keep your calm and relaxed, and afterward, you have the tool to make it never bother you again! Promise!
Not only is this super useful in any negotiation, sales processes, and relationships.
It will help you work through any negative or positive experience that you will ever make, no matter the scale or weight of that experience.
For me, it was going through all that happened to my late wife again, in great detail. All that my memory allowed me to remember and to go ahead to feel it again.
Then I dropped immediately over to the third step. And this is the most important one.
Step 3: Integration
We tend to ignore, push away, or pretend those bad things didn't happen. Not to us? No no, that can't be real.
Those were my first thoughts, as well. We all are human beings, after all, aren't we?
Knowing that pushing away what had happened wouldn't make it better.
Wouldn't make it any different and would rob me of the ability to deal with it.
Worse yet, it would steal my control over my life. (the little we have anyhow)
I knew I had to do this with all my heart.
And again, this works with any experience, any story, any situation you might encounter. No matter if it is good or bad.
The most significant benefit from this is that you keep your victories closer to your heart and take them with you everywhere you go.
That builds a ton of confidence, changes your whole appearance, and the energy you are carrying.
All the while, it will take the negative power over your emotions and feelings and nullify those. Make them ineffective.
That means you can start living your life again after your terms!
That story that bothered you doesn't anymore.
It is with you all the time, and you acknowledge that, but it doesn't hold any power over you, ever again.
You are free in your mind, heart, and actions. And that is priceless there.
It helps you deal with everything and anything. IF you do this right and take your time with it, it will empower you endlessly.
Even after those three steps, I felt like something was still missing. Something was still not as right as it was before. And maybe it never would be, at least that was what I thought back then.
It took me four weeks to get to this point, and I was doing well again. I felt well, I didn't break out into tears out of the blue anymore, or felt like a stone was hitting my face when somebody brought up my passed away wife.
However; one of the most crucial things was still missing.
Step 4: Letting go
When I understood that I still needed to let it be what it was. Without trying to make it to something else, without trying to feel like it wasn't real, etc.…
That was the moment I embraced the last lesson!
Letting go is tuff.
It is against human nature.
We tend to clinch onto things and people.
We build deep connections, and we have a hard time changing those.
Usually.
Maybe you are different.
Working internationally with thousands of people showed me that we are all the same in many ways.
When we look at the last step, it is the one thing that will bring you lasting peace with your experiences, situations, life as it is now.
It will also help you to refocus on the things you do WANT to have in your life right now.
It will give you the ability to choose better and faster. And it will detach you from hurtful, painful, and hindering things all over your life.
All the while, you have the power over what you are going to feel. Even what you are going to allow to happen in your life.
See, it was the missing piece for me to get control back over my life and to move it into the direction I always wanted it to be.
I wanted it to be like before again. Fulfilled, happy, whole! Filled with amazing experiences, for my family and me.
And now I had all the tools to make that happen again by personal choice. And that every single day!
These four steps, these four lessons brought happiness back into my life.
Not long after I fell in love again. My business stabilized, my children, started to adapt what I was doing and worked through the loss on their terms with my full attention and help.
(That they still get today of course)
Everything started to go better.
And all it took was four simple, super hard to do, steps. Plus, a decision to reclaim the power and control over my own life.
I could do it with an unimaginable thing. Right?
For me, losing my partner, my spouse, after just having a new baby, at the age of 36, only!
It's hard.
It's Painful.
And anything but easy, still.
Thanks to these four steps, I mastered to regain responsibility and power over my life.
You can do that too — no matter where you are at in your life right now.
These steps work for anything.
The good, the bad, the ugly.
Any craziness that might go on will lose the power over you! Thanks to these four steps.
I call them THE ART OF HAPPINESS!
Go now and reclaim your life! Own it, a level deeper than ever before.
Will it be easy? Yes, and No!
It will take work and dedication. It will hurt, and it will challenge you!
BUT!
It will be worth it, more than words could ever say.
Take the 4 Steps to lasting happiness for you home now.
In my book that I've written about my experience and how I worked through it, you will learn how to use them in great detail.
With the exact steps, I used to master every lesson in my life.
I can only encourage you if you love to live fully, happy, and empowered... if you like to build a dream life of your own!
If you love to have control and stay in control no matter what life throws at you.
Then these four steps will grant you the skill you need to make that happen every day of your life.
They are truly priceless and powerful. These steps work for anyone, in any situation, always. And they will work for you!
(I tested that - with hundreds of people from around the planet.)
Now it's your time.
I see you on the other side!
With sunny Regards
Stefan

Find your inner happiness.
Make it a habit of positivity.
Enjoy the benefits of being happy by choice.
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